how do I change the world -

you can google the darn phrase and start from there ....

the solution or the problem...

I'm definitely jaded and probably just as guilty as the next. But, to much XM Radio and conversations with folks on the outside (starting to feel more and more like the reverse of the “boys” in Lord of the Flies – to be explained at a later date). Your either a part of the problem or part of the solution, if your the later – then you need to get out of the way. As of late it seems that the majority of the population, “sheeple”, comprise the problem side of things – leaving few, if any folks that can comprise the solution. The radio is plaguing me as of late, so the logical solution should be to turn it off, but not always being logical, I haven't and probably won't.

One side blames the current “dream team” that comprises those on the Hill and the Oval office team – which seems to me completely unrealistic in most instances (with a number of notable exceptions of true “worthlessness” on the Hill) – given the American sheeple seem to believe wholesale policy change and reversal of course can be effected in the course of a 2-4 year term, without having even a smidgin of a clue on how things really “operate” in DC. But, I'm sure the talking heads on radio and TV do... right??? Even though it's apparent that most utilize a STRICT interpretation of the US constitution -(their own).

The other side blames the other side, the past, the Hill and the Courts and also seems to utilize a STRICT interpretation of the US constitution - also, imo, their own. What a surprise....

No one seems to realize that the Hill, for the most part, is run by “staff” and lobbying efforts. Even if the faces change – they still hire staff and the staff, for the most part, is both legacy and foisted upon the newcomer by others. Fix the problem requires a solution – solution is probably along the lines of what the framers thought, ergo keep folks out of DC for as much of the time as possible – but ego seems to play such a big role not sure what that would take.

Go to the “non-political” side of things – i.e. talk radio – financial advice, what do I get – whiners trying to get advice on how to walk away from homes, credit cards, student loans, blah – blah – blah …

I get the sense that the entire American populous/ass (or at least a substantial majority) seems to be walking aimlessly around in circles like Pooh in search of a Heffalump – and there is no Christopher Robin on the horizon, as far as I can tell.

Here at home on the range.... there are few problems, mostly solutions – as folks don't have time for problems. Yes there are opinions, ergo the current Commander in Chief isn't widely regarded, but neither was the last one. The polarizing issues that seem to occupy the airwaves and (if you care to listen) bode clearly towards an end of America as we know it (this is the message that comes through when the “trusted hosts” aren't selling gold, freeze dried food supplies, books, etc.) - aren't issues out here. Apocalyptic predictions, anarchists movements and racist/homophobic jokes aren't widespread and the biggest (actually, only as far as I can tell) racist, is a dear friend of mine (who is currently not speaking to me because he's mad about some comment a friend made about something and I'm sure by now - know one remembers what it was anyway) who happens to look a lot like Sidney P and is black, by golly.

I have to go home to my woods .. goodnight virginia

I'm so sorry Uncle Albert but....

 We Haven't Done A Bloody Thing All Day
We're So Sorry, Uncle Albert
But The Kettle's On The Boil And We're So Easily Called Away

actually I've done so much over the past week I can't identify with albert or his uncle / Have you ever seen a red-tailed Hawk grab a 3 1/2 foot rattlesnake (diamond Back) off the side of the road?  I hadn't either - but I haven't eaten McDonalds 7 days in a row either, driven a collection of trucks that broke down more times than I can count (no exaggeration - I gave up after 12),  picked 100's bur's out of my legs/butt/etc. - watched more gorgeous sunset's, sunrises and moon-rises than I deserve - the list goes on and I have to go off --- I even sold/traded the last of my "auction" items (the electronics's stuff) for $40, 6 propane refills, a haircut and a blow job (not that kind - it was with a compressor and it .... well that will require clarification at a later date as well) !!! I'll catch soon ....

not sure about much

but of this much I'm sure.... this whole computer, blogging, web site creating, face booking, texting ^$#(*^$%$%^ crap is for the birds.  Dead birds at that or garbage dump seagulls - squawking and flashing in the sun light like shark fins at a shipwreck.  OK the simile is probably way off but the point should be clear - how much frickin' time does the western world waste with this stuff??? It takes me 5 minutes to create a single sentence text message (and yes I still use proper grammar and spelling) - and forget about this "predictive" text stuff - predictive for whom?  Not I ....
Perhaps I'm a bit more frustrated than usual as I'm trying to create a web site with something called "web site tonight" - sounds like a fuckin one night stand or a blue plate special that is sure to give you some serious "plumbing issues" NOT an easy way to create a web site, now that I think about it after the fact.  But, like everything else these days I get sucked in because everyone else is doing it.  I guess folks can look for my body downriver tomorrow because I jumped with everyone else (remember that age old "if everyone else jumped off,  would you? that you heard from the "elders" - before everyone starts sending me messages about concerns for my self preservation).
None of this is easy, intuitive, time saving, user friendly blah blah blah -  dating myself, I remember 2001 (Space Odyssey) and HAL - computers taking over .... laughable right>? But here we are, 20-25+ years after the first PC and we're using crap that's WORSE than the first WIN UI and we LOVE IT (I use the term "we" loosely).  Nothing is fast enough, you can only send x#'s of characters in a tweet(wtf?), phone calls drop routinely..... calls never dropped with the princess phone attached to the wall in the kitchen and we sure as HELL never had to spend 2-4K a year on phone and TV service.  Phones that drop calls 20% of the time, provide telemarketers the ability to get us 24x7(great, right!!), probably give us tumors the size of grapefruits AND tv's with 260channels of what???
I haven't even started on the crap that's on the radio - at least I get to leave this table (quick stop/corner of anywhere USA) and head out under the stars with none of this shit to drive me nuts.  Maybe tomorrow will be better as  (if I'm lucky) the sun will rise in the east and all will be right with the world.  But tonight, this whole concept of a better world through Technology, brought to you by the Google and Facebook crowd - sucks

for crying out loud...

SO - comment after comment, no-one can read the "blog" as the text is too small - either it is -or- my group of friends/family and "other" has begun to reach that "age".  The last three days has been a total immersion in all things "small town", harvest in the heartland and a somewhat futile attempt on my part to get anything done that is on my ever increasing "list of things that MUST be done. 
I'm going to have to come back and fill in the last few days sometime in the near future as in the past 72 (+-) hours:

•  I've had trucks break down, blow up, run out of fuel, etc. - no less than 8 times,
• combine break downs - 2+,
• lost my phone under 300,000+ bushels of corn,
• had one trip to the emergency room (not me - but was the result of a fairly hair raising, road side heater hose explosion),
• covered repeatedly in enough dust to keep an entire building (10 story, at least) full of  OCD speed freaks busy cleaning for at least the next decade plus, and 

that's not even beginning to cover things.  I've had, maybe, 8 hours of sleep combined - so to decrease the risk of making even less sense than I am now - I'm signing off.
Remember though - tomorrow, thank a farmer if you put something to eat in you mouth!

are they really "just dust in the wind" (memories that is)

Under the auspices of looking for butter, I headed south west from the family kitchen where I had sat for the better part of an hour talking about my next fencing job, my past (as little as I could reveal) and hunting. I headed south west as opposed to north West based on nothing more than trying to do a rough count of lights on the horizons (more lights, greater likelihood of butter). Additionally, I think it may have also have been more downhill (actually true, but an after the fact clarification).

It's strange coming into these small towns scattered throughout the high plains (and I'm certain, much of rural America), where a sign “Would the last person leaving, please turn out the lights!” should be prominently hanging somewhere on the outskirts. I always feel a prickly sensation on the back of my neck – probably because I watch the 60's (or was it 70's) version of “The Andromeda Strain” and wonder if the whole town population just disappeared into the belly of the beast (alien spacecraft). There is always one or two beautiful examples of turn of the century architecture in the form of banks and/or hardware stores – two stories, name and year craved in cornerstones or archways. I can see the counters, wooden floors scuffed from years of hob-nail boots and sensible shoes – why did everyone leave and where did they go? I know the answers to most of this: the dust and the snow grew tiresome, work dried up, after college things looked better in the cities, ya da ya da ya – but did they? Are they?

From my perspective - (one that's touched by the reality that I'm not getting butter) – they haven't and didn't. And the fortunate reality out here, is that if I peak around the edges of the town I see life. The coo-op is bursting at the seams with this years corn harvest, blowers running full out and the un-swept remnants of the days harvest scattered under the lights. In the houses that ring the town square there are lights in the windows, pumpkins on porches, the obligatory scarecrow standing watch at more than one households front walk. There is life, by golly – the only folks that seem to have given up and moved on, just moved up the hill a bit and are under 6 feet of Kansas dirt and clay. 

and yes it was Kansas that sang "dust in the wind".  Apropo me thinks... 

idle hands, the devils workshop?

not sure, but I'd like to have "idle hands" on some days (like today).  Now before you drift off with thoughts not at all related to what I'm thinking - this is specifically related to my inability to actually spend a day doing nothing!  One would think that for me, (direct from the pages of "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous"),  that the concept and application of "idleness" into any one day NOT in specific - wouldn't be so frickin hard.  It is, was...

I'm wondering just how many ways there are to organize wire, files, screwdrivers, the list goes on - and ergo the problem.

Even sitting here - (Having eaten something the call the Pizza Giganticus, or something like that - not sure what else you'd call a pizza that requires you eat at least half if you intend to take the rest home and not be required to put it into the truck bed or leave the rear hatch open.  I guess the fact that they use those closet boxes from U-haul is also a good indicator.) - I'm still trying to organize and itemize, stuff!

The real tell, that I've lost it - I spent 4 hours modifying a old hardware store display case (with the Lazy Susan, no less), for no other reason than it REALLY seemed like a good idea and WOULD work.  It did/does but I'm not sure the effort was worth it - and what I could have done instead with the time. 

The saying goes - "time and tides wait for no man" - so it's done now, the sun's set and I'm descending into that food coma derived from to much crust and ranch dressing. 

such is a small town Saturday night

11pm at the "quick-stop".Fyi, this is a euphemism for all the mini/marts in the world. That place where a pack of aspirin (6 count at most) is $8 - there's always some deal on moon-pies, Little Debbies or hostess cup cakes - and they have some collection of ridiculous, "kitschy" items at the counter.  You know, the extra large lighters shaped like pistols, mini fans, snow globes, etc. - basically things you could never do without (not) but if your in the right frame of mind at 2am, you somehow just feel you have to have - even though they cost $6+ and are probably worth a quarter, at most.

Actually, now that I've given this counter space thing some thought it's really the "mini" equivalent to those roadside stands you use to see that sold the giant velvet Elvis (god rest the king) paintings, and concrete yard art.  Where did they all go?  Maybe the just shrunk, relocated and were relegated to the quick-stop counters of the world - real shame though, because you know it was always real tempting to stop, but difficult at 70mph.  Not the case when everything's parked on the counter though..... sometimes you just can't say no - just like the Enquirer at the grocery (another thought all together - but same concept, as we've all caved in at least once).

Digression required as I don't want folks around here to start worrying about there anonymity - therefore, no store named!

Tonight (now this morning) I pulled in around 10, intent on grabbing a drumstick (fudge and nuts) to stand in for my still painfully prevailing urge to smoke (ergo buy a pack) which is still lingering months after I quit.  "Not so fast partner" as they say in the old Westerns' - I'm not anyone or anything special but, this is a small town and I guess I could be considered a bit odd/noticeable given I've been here for coming up on my 3rd Fall, still live out in the country, with no power,water, etc. - drive the "gansta peanut" which, in and of itself is noticeable - and always have the dogs hanging out in the back seat.  Sooooo in the space of 30 minutes I've run into no less than 5 friends, avoided two acquaintances (nothing personal but I just can't "listen" tonight) and still haven't entered the store....

I should have waited (actually not, I like excitement - at times). Walked in and the girl (forgot her name) who, tonight was in charge of subs and pizza (mundane detail, but helps with perspective) had sliced her finger - DEEP - right at the tip where the flesh meets nail, one of the places where even deep cuts hurt like paper cuts and you bleed forever.  Michelle(sp) was holding a mini tube of Neosporin (no doubt pulled from the shelf, probably priced somewhere around $9), no Band-aid's, no gauze, no nothing.  The girl was now putting like her 5th application of wet paper towels on and that one was soaking through as well.  Not like the old SNL, Julia Childs - but bad enough that I don't think anyone wanted a sub anytime soon.

OK, to make a long story longer (I'm trying to shorten this up, but it's tough), I figured since I'd just stitched Lola's ear up a week or so ago maybe I'd get a chance to put that practice to work on a real live human!  Told them that I'd fix it, (both actually looked relieved, which goes to show those of whom have know me for ever - that I been making progress on the "being human" front).  Grabbed the rX kit (a must have for all), went in and washed up, banged back through the door like one of those doc's on ER, set up on one of the two tables (typically used to watch Keno results and BS) and went to work.  I used sterile gloves and everything...stopped the bleeding and created a pretty nice bandage deal, unfortunately I didn't get to do any stitches, but maybe that's for the better.

I'm only half way through the "small town Saturday night" but my hands are cramping and my left eye feels like it's going to pop (small exaggeration, but it is bothering me), so I'm through.  Caio  

best laid plans of mice and men, I had one but I'm off again....

So the idea, parked in the back of my head early this am, that I'd actually put some creative thoughts on paper early this evening was misguided to say the least.  Now I'm looking west at the first big storm in the last few weeks and realize that I'm hopeless.  Hopeless at planning anything that requires forecasting any proximity to a time-frame closer than the right month.  (ergo - it's not to farfetched a thought to imagine asking someone the time/date  and following a response like "7pm on the 8th of October", I have to honestly ask, "what year?")

The blasts of white light out on the western horizon (plus my nifty linkup to weatherunderground) and the fact that I swear I've seen at least two small dogs, a cat (calico I think) blow by and dust devils the size of that giant Stay Puft Marshmallow Man from GhostBusters (ok now I dated myself) coming across the road PROBABLY are a strong indicator that I need to head west, like NOW....

The home base is currently under a revamp - so I have a number of items sitting out and about (yes - you might be a red-neck jokes could apply), none of which need to get wet, much less soaked.  This includes but is not limited to my bob-cat skin,  gum ball machine, 200 burlap sacks, antique scale and two or three boxes of "misc" items that I have no idea what is contained within.  By the by,  I was certain that when I bought the boxes last weekend that at least one contained a previously unknown copy of the Louisiana purchase or something equally as valuable. I think the words "eklectic collection" might apply - or you could just say he's a bit of a pack-rat (hey maybe I could be on one of those reality shows).

So much for plans - I think Scarlett O'Hara said something about them being nonsense anyway, and Southern gals no their stuff!

Now I hear a tornado ....and this is Kansas - AND I live in a trailer.............................

Know when to hold em' - know when to fold ....

I don't and I didn't .... long story short / goodnight all and to all a goodnight

cash in the pocket

ice and Eskimos / birds and trees - they always said I could sell the later and talk the others down ....

Stuck with some 1,000 pieces of misc. automotive/wiring/testing, etc. from my somewhat humbling foray into the world of country auctions and on the hook to Duane for $$'s - what does one do??? Take the advice of a friend and pack up the old truck, drive into town, write some half legible "SALE 60-85% Discount" signs on pieces of cardboard and sit on the side of the road until it sells - Right? 

Well, kinda sorta - I made $5!! But, this is MY TOWN (or at least is filled with MY friends), so after some harassing and snide comments, the guidance that I was seeking was given.  Actually, I showed up at the Eagles lodge and the advice was dispensed from the poker table.  Today, showed up for lunch in town - and some 6 hours later, with all manner of humor, political conversations, haggling and much fun to be had by all (except Lola who's been a miserable pup since about 2pm) - 60%+ is sold / and I'm closer to being in the black than yesterday's lunch special....

none of this probably made sense, but I've had a heck of a time anyway.  And who would have thunk it?  As some silly country song once said (not sure what it said, but it has to sum up the last few days/by golly)........

Goodnight Virginia...and Richmond to!

quick note from the front seat of the dust bin

Once again driving back out west to the home "camp" about 3 hours later than planned.  Sometimes a mans gotta do what a mans gotta do and after sitting some 4+ odd hours in the sun on the side of the road - I had to try for another approach.

Do I have your attention now, class?  Dog's snoring in the back and my eyes a burning from the sun and the dust so the stories to be told another day - but it's a good one so stay tuned.

I hear a voice that seems to be coming from a phone, not sure if it's something playing on my computer, coming from inside my head (a filling perhaps??) or I'm just flat out losing my ever lovin mind so...

Goodnight Chesty, where ever you are.

Should I stay or should I go now....

There is something perverse about this 2x daily ritual of "my pills"
(no not for the crazies - ok maybe some for that) in as much as I've
thought more than a few times - why? Other times it just a level of
indignant outrage that make me want to kick the nearest sleeping dog.
If I don't take them, how long? Would it be painless(at least painless
for me) and I just move on to some other ethereal plain or would it
drag on, stuck in some Dante'esque (sp) decent into hell with only the
dogs to keep me company? The perversity isn't the "dark" thoughts
because I know everyone has them - right.... your standing on the edge
of a high cliff and for some odd reason you want to jump, that really
dark night when you thought "is this really worth it?" and myriad of
other thoughts we each have that push us towards the boundaries of our
own mortality.
The perversity is that I know I control this facet of keeping death at
bay, I know how it works, the name of the pills, the order and dose -
the exact science of how I need to stay alive each day from a handful
of mortal dangers. It doesn't keep me protected from the thin ice
that makes up my daily living - but it protects me from dying of
specific things. Since when has humankind been given or cursed with
this "power"? A generation or two at most...and the results?
Without this where would we be?
IMO - We'd probably still have peanuts on air-line flights and kids
could still take PB&J's to school for lunch - but what the hey, that's
fodder for another post.

good night Mrs. Robbinson

took the time to do the Facebook update - I guess I'm now super cool and plugged in.  To bad I don't have power, water, internet, etc. at my swinging pad - but the stars are bright as the first cool fingers of fall gather like willow wisps after the sun sets / coyotes aren't bad company if they stay up on the hills were they seem to run each night and the sound of the Whip-poor-will and the owls reminds me that all hallows eve isn't far off.  Sometimes I jump at my own shadow now, maybe the haints are closer than I want to immagine and the ghosting hulk of the old house on the hill above where I call home now catches the last rays of sunset in a manner a bit more haunting now that the days are shortening.

Ahh - suns up in a few hours, best head down the road.  best to all  

Sunday

Lots to do today – but first a cup of coffee (I have about one every week or two) and some hot cereal....

Mundane stuff right?

Wrong – 5 hours later I've torn out the entire sink/stove setup in the RV and engage in a fullscale overhaul of the water system. Good thing I have all these new tools!

Nothing doing nothing done ...  

same old same old sitting here with Jamie driving by for the 10th time tonight in his squad car, I guess wondering if I'll ever go home.  Not much done but picked up the rest of my purchases - became extremely frustrated with eBAY @#$%^&*(&*()

and going home

2 Pry bars and a Square...(so named for the soon to be attached video)

OK – how does one go in search of a simple item (ergo a grease gun – which you would logically expect to find at an auction of automobile and farm items) and not only NOT find the item – but end up with a truck and a half load of “stuff”. Now don't get me wrong the “stuff” is not actually “stuff” but hundreds (ok thousands) of really valuable things, most of which I need, have needed or will need sometime in this lifetime. The fact that I don't have a home is immaterial AND some of the items are valuable antiques which I'm certain to garner I tidy profit from once I get the other couple thousand items sorted and out of the truck/s. Like a circa 1926 Stimpson Calculating Scale or a turn of the century Crescent Mfg. Co – Cash Alarm Drawer – No. 56, so who's laughing now …..The problem, of course, is I might really like these items and be unable to part with them so I'm determined to move fast before I grow attached to a 85+ pound scale that I have absolutely no use or room for.

I already made a good start by selling one of three power drills purchased (don't ask me why when I don't even have power), to a friend – doubling my money and then some in less than 4 hours. Even more impressive was the drill weighed something like 60lbs, was gleaming stainless steel and had three handles! A real he-man's drill and I sold it non-the less.

So the bidding ended with my truck and a friends – filled with thousands of car and electrical parts that were brand new and still in box's – and such a high number because I thought I was bidding on a rack of wires and connectors, (actually got a great deal), but unknowingly was bidding on the entire display carousel which included EIGHT racks (3' x 6') and an entire box of spare/s. This is the BIG rack you find when you (or if you) go into a place like NAPA or AutoCare and see in the front holding everything from 50 different kinds of zip ties to voltage testers, fuses, switches, lights, etc., etc. etc. Needless to say if anyone needs a deal on auto parts – e-mail me!!!

PLUS a 150lb, 9hp, two phase generator ($15 I might add), a bale of some 100+ burlap sacks (clean and smelling of an old hardware store – remember Farmers?), a scale, cash drawer , tools, files, drills, something that looks like an alien anal probe (the looks on the guys faces when I made that observation was pretty much “priceless”), the aforementioned “two pry bars and a square” and god knows what else. I'm heading home around 11pm (mind you I left at somewhere around 9am) and realize I didn't get one thing done I planned on, am a couple hundred dollars in debt to Dwayne who I promised to pay on Monday (he owns the auction company and was visibly laughing at me during the day as I floundered around as a newbie in the auction world and all in all ok with life.

Last thing before I turn off is I just remembered the last time I went to an auction (I think) was about 40 years ago and I caused a bit of a problem for my mother and Dad by raising my hand there as well!!! Some things, I guess, never change – perhaps that's why both mother and Dad sounded so distraught when I called today to tell them about the bargains.

OK so this is what you see at 2am in fron to the mini-mart

an old hearse (tan), tired girl working a graveyard to 9am shift - happy for the job I guess/ smoking her cigerette in the early fall chill, milk cart as an off hand seat / lost in thoughts, perhaps - but what are they?
Dreams - does she have them, or just trying to survive.... the hearse is back, low on oil, engine ticking and now she has company / I'm leaving now - not because I have to but because I should.  This is someone else's time, someone else's life and not mine

so the little pig said

why does everything seems to take so long when your waiting

do you know how to swing?

no --- but do YOU know how to swing, like really swing....
hip, slick and cool = the back-flip (oh no Ashton)

Who says there's only one way to skin a cat?

there isn't ....but at 1:30am on a dusty back road with the wind howling and a dull knife - it would have been nice if there was!   OK, before the squeamish and animal lovers go up in arms,  this was a bobcat and the poor critter had been double run (run out and run-over).  So my thought, initially, was that it's a shame to let this beautiful animal go to waste - but after 30 minutes of attempted skinning I was beginning to question my initial thought.....Did I really need this, what was I going to do with it anyway and where in the hell did all this dust come from.   Lastly, it certainly turned out to be a good bit more difficult than I anticipated.