There is something perverse about this 2x daily ritual of "my pills"
(no not for the crazies - ok maybe some for that) in as much as I've
thought more than a few times - why? Other times it just a level of
indignant outrage that make me want to kick the nearest sleeping dog.
If I don't take them, how long? Would it be painless(at least painless
for me) and I just move on to some other ethereal plain or would it
drag on, stuck in some Dante'esque (sp) decent into hell with only the
dogs to keep me company? The perversity isn't the "dark" thoughts
because I know everyone has them - right.... your standing on the edge
of a high cliff and for some odd reason you want to jump, that really
dark night when you thought "is this really worth it?" and myriad of
other thoughts we each have that push us towards the boundaries of our
own mortality.
The perversity is that I know I control this facet of keeping death at
bay, I know how it works, the name of the pills, the order and dose -
the exact science of how I need to stay alive each day from a handful
of mortal dangers. It doesn't keep me protected from the thin ice
that makes up my daily living - but it protects me from dying of
specific things. Since when has humankind been given or cursed with
this "power"? A generation or two at most...and the results?
Without this where would we be?
IMO - We'd probably still have peanuts on air-line flights and kids
could still take PB&J's to school for lunch - but what the hey, that's
fodder for another post.
(no not for the crazies - ok maybe some for that) in as much as I've
thought more than a few times - why? Other times it just a level of
indignant outrage that make me want to kick the nearest sleeping dog.
If I don't take them, how long? Would it be painless(at least painless
for me) and I just move on to some other ethereal plain or would it
drag on, stuck in some Dante'esque (sp) decent into hell with only the
dogs to keep me company? The perversity isn't the "dark" thoughts
because I know everyone has them - right.... your standing on the edge
of a high cliff and for some odd reason you want to jump, that really
dark night when you thought "is this really worth it?" and myriad of
other thoughts we each have that push us towards the boundaries of our
own mortality.
The perversity is that I know I control this facet of keeping death at
bay, I know how it works, the name of the pills, the order and dose -
the exact science of how I need to stay alive each day from a handful
of mortal dangers. It doesn't keep me protected from the thin ice
that makes up my daily living - but it protects me from dying of
specific things. Since when has humankind been given or cursed with
this "power"? A generation or two at most...and the results?
Without this where would we be?
IMO - We'd probably still have peanuts on air-line flights and kids
could still take PB&J's to school for lunch - but what the hey, that's
fodder for another post.
